15.05.2021 9:00 a.m.

Ive this unnerving feeling whenever I enter a hospital. I don’t know what it is but I almost at the edge of fainting all the time. It’s very hard to describe anxiety, how it feels physically but I’ll try. I start feeling a rumble in my tummy, it’s either as if I’m gonna throw up or need to go to the washroom. As if that’s not uncomfortable enough, everything around me starts moving and fading with each step. I’ve difficulty walking as everything starts moving up and down in a desynchronised manner and can’t see half of the things in the corner of my eyes because they are fading away with a white flash.

All of this is happening together and I’ve to control my breath, find my centre so that I don’t fall and. swiping away sweat from my face while keeping a calm expression. I don’t talk a lot at this time. I’m so exhausted with managing other symptoms that I feel even the tiniest bit of sentence would take up a big chunk of my energy.

I’ve never been a fan of talking anyway.

I’m here, at a hospital for vaccination and it’s acting up again. Sometimes I feel that what the fresh hell is this, such a weak soul people tell me.

Everyday I don’t succumb to this, everyday that I don’t fall and give up, every time no one notices that I’m weak and considers me normal, one of them, I feel like it’s a little win.